GAD and Sexy

Why I have no business taking a relationship to the next level (and proof that I have zero clue about women). Having talked about problems and misunderstandings in our relationship with my girlfriend for a large part of the day, our phone conversation was reaching its conclusion. Girlfriend : I don’t know, you just give me the feeling you don’t really want this relationship. I feel you’re steering me towards the end. Me : I really don’t understand how I’m giving you that feeling. (followed by me listing a whole bunch of stuff which illustrates my involvement and dedication). Girlfriend : It’s not in the things you don’t do it’s the feeling you bring across. Me : But I feel that I really want this relationship to work. Girlfriend : Could you at least think about it? Me : Sure I’ll think about it... But do you mind, I’m going to hang up now I’ve been standing here naked for the last 20 minutes while having this talk and it’s starting to feel a bit silly. Also I just turned...

So I’ve been thinking about writing a meaningful flashback/review of my vacation in Świnoujście Poland. One of the strangest places, I visited in Poland and then not strange in a good way, but more strange in a somewhat boring-jaw-dropping-creepy way. I decided I would try to be all nice and objective and writer like, make sense in what would be my traveler voice (never mind that I would totally love to be a traveler and a man of the world but I’m so not). But then I thought since we’re all sharing our social lives on “the internet” and some people can barely fart without tweeting about it, I might as well throw it all overboard and just write in my own voice, be completely honest, really just confess to the world how completely disturbed I am. Come to think of it, I’d really only confess to people that have an interested in what’s going on in my head or life so I figure about one or two people will make it to the end of what I’m writing now. Since this post was going to be abou...

So last evening in the hotel and one of my dreams kinda sorta totally didn't come true, but in a sort of freaky way I came close to it. I was sitting in the bubble bath next to the hotels swimming pool, just relaxing and preparing myself mentally for a long solo drive back home. When suddenly 3 young women appeared from behind me and joined me in this tiny tub. Now normally I would cheer and be all manly (read: look the other way and get all shy), but sadly for me these women weren't so much women but they were actually girls around the age of 7 or 8. Bummer of course but getting the hell out of there felt like the wrong thing to do and not very polite (yeah I think about that stuff), so I stayed in and just tried to relax as the 3 whispered to each other and stared at me just to make me as uncomfortable as possible. Suddenly I felt a cloud of warm water surrounding me which made me lookup in surprise. The girl sitting next to me had a odd smile on her face and clearly lo...

The big day As I set on the bed I took some time to let it sink in, the day had arrived for which I spend two months preparing and worrying. I heard my wife busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast, an air of excitement and vacation optimism rose from all noises she produced. The contrast couldn’t have been greater, since we booked the flight to Kraków two months earlier I hardly thought about the vacation it self. I was going to fly for the first time and everything that would happen after that was unimaginable. I got up and headed to the shower, as I stood under the hot water I realized that I actually slept reasonably well. Good! Those pills the doctor subscribed worked! My wife tactically avoided the subject and gave me all the time I needed to get ready. I ate a little breakfast and visited the toilet a couple of times. Already with her coat on she gently announced it was time for us to go so I grabbed my suitcases and we were off. We met up with our travel companions at the...

46 degrees in the sun the thermometer read when leaving the hotel room. Together with our friends my wife and I handed in our room keys. Dragging our suitcases we started our 30 minute walk to the train station. Zakopane station lacks nothing but offers nothing extra. The platforms are accessible from just about anywhere but tickets can only be bought from the main station building which has the classic station look. When entering the main hall it becomes obvious that time has stood still at PKP, the national railway company of Poland. Nothing has changed much over the last 40 odd years in this station. We buy our tickets from a woman nearing her pension age, although very friendly she is slow and a queue builds up quickly. With 35 minutes to spare we were the proud owners of 4 first class train tickets on the fast service to Kraków. As we made our way through the station we decided to stock-up on drinks and food for our 3 and a half hour journey. At the platform entrance there’s ...

The first night at the mountain house was best described as dark. In a village of around 50 separate houses with a average distance of at least 100 meters between every house and no street lights, it gets very dark. I very literary couldn't see my hand before my eyes in a room that lacked curtains. It was fine, it just took a little longer to get my pillow just right. I woke around 8.30 from the morning sun shinning into my face, consequently it had given me a bursting headache and wasn't planning to get up just yet. With the help of a little smoothness from my side I got my wife onto my side of the bed and me on hers and out of the sun. Eureka! More sleep! Ten minutes later I was lying in the sun again but fell asleep anyway. About two hours later we set, showered and ready, down for breakfast. Some juice, home made bread baked the evening before and a cup of tea. Over breakfast we discussed our own plan for building a wooden house in Poland, our shared dream and a puzzle ...

Close to the Polish-Czech border on top of a mountain there lies the tiny village of Lasowka, our destination for the coming three days. We're going to visit a couple we know, they own a wooden house with rooms they often rent out to people mainly during winter for skying, and in high summer for people that like to walk in the mountains. As it's spring now and at this height the last snow is still melting we were going to be the only visitors. After my first Polish lesson this vacation we started to pack and got ready to go. Again the weather was great, blue skies all round and 20 degrees. We both dressed light for the trip but were sure to pack a sweater for the off change we might have a cold day during our stay. With the cat in her new vacation transporter, which is basically a crossover between a standard transporter and a tent big enough to fit two Main Coons, we were on our way. The cat was going completely berserk in the beginning as it was used to walk freely in the...