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People You May Know

I just spend some time on the right side of my Facebook wall. After hitting the tiny little cross for about 5 minutes I didn't come across anyone I actually know. There were a couple women I should get to know, but really, all strangers. 
I seem to know a couple of people that know a lot of people but apparently I don’t know them well enough to be introduced to their friends. Or maybe I’m just not interesting enough to be introduced to their friends, in that case the heading should be, People You Would Know If You Were More Interesting. 

The heading is stupid anyway for a website that has an interest to connect as many people as possible, People You May Know, sounds way to tentative. I bet that section would see a lot more action if they call it, People You Should Know. Users would go into clicking frenzies, “I should know these people, why don’t I know these people, why don’t these people know me. I’m more interesting then this person, he should know me” click-click-click-click. 

With some people that flew by in my 5 minutes of browsing I couldn’t wait to click the little cross. Reluctantly I’d still click the link, 2 mutual friends. I know people that know this person?! Is there a section People You Shouldn’t Know? Or no, that would be too forward of course, People You May Not Want To Know. Much better. 

How many people do we actually know that we have on our Friends List? In order for someone to qualify as a friend it would be fair to say that we at least have to know the person reasonably well. Sure, I realize we can’t very well call the thing People I’m Vaguely Familiar With List, even though that would be a much more accurate description. 

I think the number will actually become a means to an end. Something like a Facebook blue USB dongle necklace with your friend count on it, you know to show of how social you are. 
In a couple of years you’ll have to say the number in introductions, “Hi, I’m Thomas 154”, “Hi Thomas, I’m Lara 2032. I’m sorry but I’m here with someone”. Sounds like that wouldn’t be such a sweet deal for me but actually it works out well, the end result remains the same I just saved myself buying drinks and dinner which wouldn’t have had any return on investment. Besides I still have time for a movie after I mastrubate (Pages is marking mastrubate as a mis spelled word, why does it include fuck but not mastrubate?!?! I’m pretty sure mastrubation is way more common than fucking). 

Anyway, tomorrow I’ll be seeing my psychiatrist again for the first time in 5 months. It gets pretty depressing when you have to start paying people to listen to you. But I remain optimistic my ambition is to turn it around, you know, have people paying me for talking to them.

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